Home after five days.
I call out his name. He looks up. Then, looks at his mother shyly, as if asking for permission. I call out his name again. This time, he gets up and walks slowly towards me. A shy smile coming over his face, he puts his hands up, and allows me to lift him up and shower his face with kisses. A laugh comes out and his whole body convulses with laughter. Life comes back to me.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
80's in brief
"So, which movie is this", I disrupted the quiet proceedings with a sudden "Abhimanyu, chakravyuh mein phas gaya hai tu...". As I started singing, my voice gained in vigor, owed to this rousing hit of the lousy 80's. Mr. Ali shrugged his shoulders, and looked askance at me. He was nonplussed.
Undettered, I launched another ditty from the same movie, "Saare badan mein zahar chadh gaya". And light re-entered Mr. Ali's eyes. Light, that was good. He joined in chorus, "bichchu chadh gaya, bichchu chadh gaya". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ali proved himself a thorough sleazeball once again!
Undettered, I launched another ditty from the same movie, "Saare badan mein zahar chadh gaya". And light re-entered Mr. Ali's eyes. Light, that was good. He joined in chorus, "bichchu chadh gaya, bichchu chadh gaya". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ali proved himself a thorough sleazeball once again!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
My world
I was in a deep, deep slumber when they cut my home into two and plucked me out like a vegetable. Moved me out of my home and cut my ties from my world permanently with a single snip of scissors. And then, they were surprised, these strange beings, when they found me in a state of trauma unable to open my eyes to this new, hostile world.
I have grown used to this world slowly. From three four people initially, it has expanded to six seven people now. Two seem more prominent than the others, and I am being taught to call them "peppae" and "memma". It has taken me time to know which one is which. Both are big but I am quite sure now that the bony one with the long nose is peppa and the fleshy, pretty one is memma.
Peppa is funny. I use him for my daily rides around the house once he comes in the evening. He also tickles me with his thin fingers that move up from my toes to tummy to create a goody-goody sensation, making me laugh. But he can also be very annoying, particularly on days when he is at home in the morning. You know, I like to wake up late on days I am not supposed to go out for exercise and play. Even when I wake up, I like to lie down, and with my face up, admire the fan whirring on the ceiling. Or chew little scraps of paper meditatively. At those ruminative moments, he has to come shouting into the bed, and grab my cheeks violently. Sometimes, I humor him and let him abuse my modesty. But then, he takes my good grace to be compliance and assaults me further with his rough face rubbing my soft cheeks. I usually get rid of him by the simple device of twisting his long nose sharply. Crying "oye oye", he relents and moves away.
The best thing about memma is her tummy. I like to put my nose into it every now and then, and find it to be soft and giving with nothing to hurt unlike Peppa's bones. She wakes me up in the morning more gently than peppa by putting something good and crunchy in my mouth and cuddling me with her smaller nose. She is however even more annoying than peppa at times. She is constantly shouting "aa aa", "ba ba", "pa pa" into my ears, and pointing to strange things which are of no interest to me. Sometimes, I repeat what she is saying to make her happy and go away. At those times, she takes me on her shoulders or tickles me hard.
Memma and peppa think they are smarter than me, and constantly try to teach me one thing or the other. They seldom make any attempt to learn from me though. If they are really so smart, why are they unable to slide down the sofa with the ease and control that I do? Or, gargle and throw water from the mouth precisely into a glass kept at a distance from me?
They are ok but I wish they would bother me a little less and let me on my own a little more.
I have grown used to this world slowly. From three four people initially, it has expanded to six seven people now. Two seem more prominent than the others, and I am being taught to call them "peppae" and "memma". It has taken me time to know which one is which. Both are big but I am quite sure now that the bony one with the long nose is peppa and the fleshy, pretty one is memma.
Peppa is funny. I use him for my daily rides around the house once he comes in the evening. He also tickles me with his thin fingers that move up from my toes to tummy to create a goody-goody sensation, making me laugh. But he can also be very annoying, particularly on days when he is at home in the morning. You know, I like to wake up late on days I am not supposed to go out for exercise and play. Even when I wake up, I like to lie down, and with my face up, admire the fan whirring on the ceiling. Or chew little scraps of paper meditatively. At those ruminative moments, he has to come shouting into the bed, and grab my cheeks violently. Sometimes, I humor him and let him abuse my modesty. But then, he takes my good grace to be compliance and assaults me further with his rough face rubbing my soft cheeks. I usually get rid of him by the simple device of twisting his long nose sharply. Crying "oye oye", he relents and moves away.
The best thing about memma is her tummy. I like to put my nose into it every now and then, and find it to be soft and giving with nothing to hurt unlike Peppa's bones. She wakes me up in the morning more gently than peppa by putting something good and crunchy in my mouth and cuddling me with her smaller nose. She is however even more annoying than peppa at times. She is constantly shouting "aa aa", "ba ba", "pa pa" into my ears, and pointing to strange things which are of no interest to me. Sometimes, I repeat what she is saying to make her happy and go away. At those times, she takes me on her shoulders or tickles me hard.
Memma and peppa think they are smarter than me, and constantly try to teach me one thing or the other. They seldom make any attempt to learn from me though. If they are really so smart, why are they unable to slide down the sofa with the ease and control that I do? Or, gargle and throw water from the mouth precisely into a glass kept at a distance from me?
They are ok but I wish they would bother me a little less and let me on my own a little more.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
In the eyes of his woman
He reads too much and speaks too little. And she regrets the times when he does speak. It is in rapture over books and ideas and music where he loses all control and balance and propriety, or self righteous indignation against one thing or the other, or inappropriate jokes and songs on the strangest of occasions.
He tries hard to look like an intellectual but has no idea of how and why people act and think the way they do. He tries to make his naivette sound like idealism, and manages to fool some of the people some of the times.
He claims to be lost in thought when he choses to disregard the unavoidable work, and makes reminding him to do important things a specially ordained task for everybody else.
He considers the floor of the bathroom as a washing machine where his dirty undergarments can be dropped at will, and the footwear of everybody else in the house as his personal property.
He considers himself to be liberal-minded and open to criticism, but becomes Mr. Sensitivity when probed even slightly on his pet theories and ridiculous habits.
At first, she thought he is a little different, thats all. Now, she believes him to be completely mad, thats it.
He tries hard to look like an intellectual but has no idea of how and why people act and think the way they do. He tries to make his naivette sound like idealism, and manages to fool some of the people some of the times.
He claims to be lost in thought when he choses to disregard the unavoidable work, and makes reminding him to do important things a specially ordained task for everybody else.
He considers the floor of the bathroom as a washing machine where his dirty undergarments can be dropped at will, and the footwear of everybody else in the house as his personal property.
He considers himself to be liberal-minded and open to criticism, but becomes Mr. Sensitivity when probed even slightly on his pet theories and ridiculous habits.
At first, she thought he is a little different, thats all. Now, she believes him to be completely mad, thats it.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Physical distance
In his classic sociological work on a South Indian village and subtle changes brought in its social life by Independence, Andre Beteille comments that "physical distance can be seen as a function of structural distance". This comes in the context of people living with their caste/communities as next door neighbours. The contours of the Indian village life may have changed in many places from the earlier strict associations between caste and class post independence. However, like most things Indian, changes are fifty-fifty only, and perhaps it is mostly power that has been reconfigured and redistributed with different sets of castes and communities, particularly in North India, while we continue to live together separately.
It is perhaps this physical distance and conformity that one loses immediately as one moves from a small village or town to a big metro. And which gives rise to the desire of many to live in a ghetto, and for those in more financially secure positions, to establish "purity" in a profane environment where people are not sure of their "places". Our reaction to modernity, as to urbanization here, remains ambiguous in all places.
While this perhaps helps us retain our senses, without thinking of our own, in an age and customs that we do not understand fully, it also maintains our conspicuous lack of ability to live and think as individuals in cities. And to look at others as individuals, not just as members of another religion, caste, region or community. We rather prefer to continue with our traditional prejudices that makes our cruelty internal and so difficult to be even aware of.
It is perhaps this physical distance and conformity that one loses immediately as one moves from a small village or town to a big metro. And which gives rise to the desire of many to live in a ghetto, and for those in more financially secure positions, to establish "purity" in a profane environment where people are not sure of their "places". Our reaction to modernity, as to urbanization here, remains ambiguous in all places.
While this perhaps helps us retain our senses, without thinking of our own, in an age and customs that we do not understand fully, it also maintains our conspicuous lack of ability to live and think as individuals in cities. And to look at others as individuals, not just as members of another religion, caste, region or community. We rather prefer to continue with our traditional prejudices that makes our cruelty internal and so difficult to be even aware of.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Proust's Lost Time: First Impressions...
You can be possessed so completely by a single emotion at a particular period of time, say, happiness, love, longing, that it is impossible to think of the other states, anger, anxiety, fear, that may possess you as completely at other times in the same day. Time, thus, gets divided not by the hours through which it passes, but by the feelings and moods and emotions that are ephemeral and that are evoked by different states of your own nature and your environment.
A terrific insight, which, as with all great isights, one feels one always knew but had never found the words to express or recognize it clearly within one's own experience. To me, nobody had quite expressed this so clearly and so beautifully until I read Proust.
A terrific insight, which, as with all great isights, one feels one always knew but had never found the words to express or recognize it clearly within one's own experience. To me, nobody had quite expressed this so clearly and so beautifully until I read Proust.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Marx on Religion
"Religion is the opium of the masses".
This is amongst the more popular of Marx's quotes, that usually finds approval from non-Marxist atheists as well. Also the one that is used often to illustrate the invisible chains and false hopes that binds people to God. Marx, though himself an atheist, was more sympathetic to faith than what the above comment and latter day Marxists would have us believe. The above quotation has a context and is more fully rendered as:-
"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."
Marx thus saw religion as the balm that soothed despoiled people and their conditions. He also advocated atheism vigorously, but envisioning a future in which the soulless conditions of bondage and exploitation would be removed by a more equitable distribution. It is nobody's argument that such conditions have ceased to exist or likely to go away any soon. One can argue, on the other hand, that transient and fragmented life in the modern cities has only served to strengthen Religion, of the more militant kind very often. It provides the much needed moorings that many believe they are in danger of losing when they move away from their native places. One can empathize with such need for a primordial connection, even when it sometimes burns the seekers further rather then heal them.
This is amongst the more popular of Marx's quotes, that usually finds approval from non-Marxist atheists as well. Also the one that is used often to illustrate the invisible chains and false hopes that binds people to God. Marx, though himself an atheist, was more sympathetic to faith than what the above comment and latter day Marxists would have us believe. The above quotation has a context and is more fully rendered as:-
"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."
Marx thus saw religion as the balm that soothed despoiled people and their conditions. He also advocated atheism vigorously, but envisioning a future in which the soulless conditions of bondage and exploitation would be removed by a more equitable distribution. It is nobody's argument that such conditions have ceased to exist or likely to go away any soon. One can argue, on the other hand, that transient and fragmented life in the modern cities has only served to strengthen Religion, of the more militant kind very often. It provides the much needed moorings that many believe they are in danger of losing when they move away from their native places. One can empathize with such need for a primordial connection, even when it sometimes burns the seekers further rather then heal them.
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